Mrs Million (Audible Audio Edition) Pete Hautman Anthony Haden Salerno Audible Studios Books
Download As PDF : Mrs Million (Audible Audio Edition) Pete Hautman Anthony Haden Salerno Audible Studios Books
A lottery jackpot winner decides to turn one of her millions into a bounty for the man who left her. Barbara Annette is decorating a cake when the Powerball numbers come in. They sound suspiciously familiar, but she finishes the cake before checking her ticket, knowing that if she wins her hands will be too shaky to handle the icing. This quiet Midwesterner has just won nine million dollars - and nine million kinds of trouble to go with it. Accepting her money on national television, Barbara Annette promises a cool million to anyone who can bring her runaway husband home to her. When he hears of the reward placed for his return, Bobby decides to claim it himself - but first, he's got to get past a pair of bounty hunters, a psychotic pretty-boy, and a lovelorn humanities professor who won't take no for an answer. Getting her husband home safe will be tougher than winning the lottery. Whether Barbara Annette will want him when he gets there is another question altogether.
Mrs Million (Audible Audio Edition) Pete Hautman Anthony Haden Salerno Audible Studios Books
The more I read this story, the more I thought of the movie, Fargo. The plots are similar only in that a lot of unintended things occur to some very interesting characters, but it had the same feeling.Barbaraannette Quinn is Mrs. Million. In fact, as the newest winner of the Minnesota Powerball lottery she is nearly Mrs. Ten Million. One of three sisters, all of whom live in Cold Rock, Minnesota, B.A has decided to use some of the winnings from the lottery to find her missing husband. He departed town on a sudden fishing trip six years ago with some money he had taken from two friends who expected him to use it in a real estate deal. For some reason Barbaraannette cannot shake his memory and offers a reward of one million dollars to whomever can bring her husband home.
That's when the fun begins. Bobby has found his way to Tucson selling cowboy boots at Wally Wenger's Westernwear Warehouse and has set up housekeeping with Phlox, a dealer at the Desert Diamond Casino. They see the news story of B.A. making the offer and before too much dust settles they are on their way to Minnesota with plans to acccept the reward.
A million gets everyone's attention in Cold Rock and as Phlox and Bobby arrive there, other forces enter the story and Bobby is kidnapped by a very odd couple who plan to claim the reward. Those whom he swindled six years before are aware of his presense and have their own ideas about the matter. B.A. oldest sister, Mary Beth thinks the whole idea is ridiculous and is trying to cancel the whole reward idea. Add to that B.A.'s Alzheimer afflicted mother who keeps escaping from her nursing home, a local banker who has loved B.A. since high school and a few other assorted folks from Cold Rock and you have one heckuva entertaining book.
Hauptman has a way with words and descriptions and he brings it all to bear in Mrs. Million. It would make a fun movie.
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Mrs Million (Audible Audio Edition) Pete Hautman Anthony Haden Salerno Audible Studios Books Reviews
Meeting and talking with author Pete Hautman, one would never suspect the lunatic talent he so ably conceals. Yet here is a fifth novel in his series of crime capers that in short synopses seem barely attached to the real world. Upon complete examination, we discover not only having had an enjoyable reading time, but also having gained some new insights and a different way of looking at our society. Hautman has a fine eye for the foibles both fair and foul, of the human race, and his ability to write pithy, crackling, dialogue is never more evident than in this tale of MRS. MILLION.
Barbaraannette Quinn is the middle child of a trio known collectively in town as the Grabo sisters. She and sisters Toagie and Mary Beth, live in Cold Rock, Minnesota. While in high school she seduces or is seduced by--it’s never entirely clear, which is no reflection on the talents of the author--Bobby Quinn, whom she subsequently marries after a few years away from Cold Rock.
Early one morning Bobby disappears. Six years later, Barbaraannette wins the lottery, appears on television, and offers a cool million of her winnings to anyone who can bring Bobby back to her. In Arizona, Bobby and his current companion, a woman named Phlox, decide that the million ought to be theirs. They hatch a plan to acquire it and things begin to go seriously awry.
Here’s a sample of the author’s talent.
“What are you doing here?” asked Barbaraannette, blinking at the cloud of mentholated smoke that had accompanied Toagie down the steps.
“I came to help you carry the cake and horse barn, hon.”
“Oh.” Barbaraannette looked at Toagie and smiled. “Toag, I think I won it. Will you look and see if I really won it?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I think I won the Powerball, Toag. I think I won it. I think I won the thing.”
Toagie’s mouth went slack and the cigarette dropped to the floor. She stood up and staggered back, catching herself on the freezer.
Barbaraannette’s right foot ground out the burning cigarette. She said, “Look at the ticket for me, would you, Toag?”
Toagie said, “Ticket?” Numbness descended upon her.
“Just take one good look at it and tell me if the numbers are your birthday, Mama’s, and Britty’s.”
Toagie blanked for a moment and then recalled her sister’s custom of basing her lottery picks on family birthdays. “Where is it?” Toagie asked.
“I put it in the freezer.”
“You froze it?” She turned and looked down at the white top of the chest freezer.
“After I looked at and saw the numbers I got scared. I didn’t know what else to do, Toag. It’s in a Tupperware marked ‘hot dish.’”
“You put it in Tupperware? You froze it? Criminentlies, Barbaraannette, why’d you go and do that?”
Barbaraannette shook her head and smiled, her usually small mouth stretching across a third of her face. “I kept thinking, what if the house burns down? Then it came in my head to put it in the he freezer to keep it safe, so that’s what I did.”
Toagie put her hand on the freezer handle. She looked back at her sister and said, “You know I think you are out of your fleeping mind, doncha?””
Barbaraannette’s smile grew impossibly wider. “Toag, if those numbers are what I read them to be, I don’t believe I give a damn what anybody thinks.”
The large cast of complicated characters, so real they are scary, never seem to be doing or saying things that are off the wall, yet manage to convey the impression that we’re watching a complete farce in undisciplined rehearsal. Yet it is the talent of the author that the fabric of the story remains clear while he maintains a pace and logic that will entrance any reader.
Author Pete Hautman divides his time between Stockholm, Wisconsin, a tiny picturesque town on the northern shore of Lake Pepin and Golden Valley, Minnesota.
Sam O'Gara appears in most of Hautman's novels. In this one he gets a bare mention. He's the father of Barbaraannette Quinn, who wins the lottery and decides to spend a million of it trying to win her husband Bobby back. He absconded six years before and she's never gotten over the good-looking devil.
Bobby, along with his girlfriend, Phlox, sees her offer on TV. They decide to claim the reward and then split, which strains credulity because people are looking for Bobby in Cold Rock, Minnesota. You see, before he left, he conned these two guys out of money to start a dude ranch, and he runs into them as soon as he sets foot in Cold Rock. Suddenly everybody wants the million dollars and Bobby changes hands more often than the Hope diamond.
There are a lot of quirky characters in MRS. MILLION, but probably the most interesting one is the college professor, Andre Gideon, who just happens to be in the right place (or wrong, depending upon how you look at it). He's more interested in JJ Morrow, another con man, who sends letters to celebrities to mooch money off of them. Gideon is unique because Hautman is working against type. Gideon looks about as violent as Shirley Temple, but he's got a mean streak as long as the English Chunnel.
There's a lot of internal monologue in this novel, which slows down the pace, but it speeds up when Barbaraanette collects the million in cash from her marathon-running banker, who just happens to have loved her forever. The funniest part is how often the money changes hands. You'll start counting heads when the money disappears. Everybody seems to be accounted for.
The eventual resolution is sidesplitting.
The more I read this story, the more I thought of the movie, Fargo. The plots are similar only in that a lot of unintended things occur to some very interesting characters, but it had the same feeling.
Barbaraannette Quinn is Mrs. Million. In fact, as the newest winner of the Minnesota Powerball lottery she is nearly Mrs. Ten Million. One of three sisters, all of whom live in Cold Rock, Minnesota, B.A has decided to use some of the winnings from the lottery to find her missing husband. He departed town on a sudden fishing trip six years ago with some money he had taken from two friends who expected him to use it in a real estate deal. For some reason Barbaraannette cannot shake his memory and offers a reward of one million dollars to whomever can bring her husband home.
That's when the fun begins. Bobby has found his way to Tucson selling cowboy boots at Wally Wenger's Westernwear Warehouse and has set up housekeeping with Phlox, a dealer at the Desert Diamond Casino. They see the news story of B.A. making the offer and before too much dust settles they are on their way to Minnesota with plans to acccept the reward.
A million gets everyone's attention in Cold Rock and as Phlox and Bobby arrive there, other forces enter the story and Bobby is kidnapped by a very odd couple who plan to claim the reward. Those whom he swindled six years before are aware of his presense and have their own ideas about the matter. B.A. oldest sister, Mary Beth thinks the whole idea is ridiculous and is trying to cancel the whole reward idea. Add to that B.A.'s Alzheimer afflicted mother who keeps escaping from her nursing home, a local banker who has loved B.A. since high school and a few other assorted folks from Cold Rock and you have one heckuva entertaining book.
Hauptman has a way with words and descriptions and he brings it all to bear in Mrs. Million. It would make a fun movie.
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